Healthy Green Moms

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Are your predominant thoughts focused on the love and gratitude you have for your inner gifts, or are you more focused on your perceived limitations? Either way, your predominant thoughts will decide the course of your life.

Last week I wrote about Stinkin Thinkin and how your personal philosophy determines the outcome of your life regardless of how aware you are of your deep seated beliefs. Unfortunately, it’s all too common to give your limiting beliefs too much weight. When you are immersed in the power and intensity of fear or self doubt, it is easy to feel isolated. Often we forget that despite appearances of confidence, self doubt can often be just as powerful in the woman beside us.

In addition to any limiting beliefs you have about yourself, many of us also field an onslaught of negative self talk on a daily basis. When self doubt and fear seems to be such a powerful force in your life, how do you begin to overcome the negative self talk and move ahead with more confidence?

“Fear is only as deep as the mind allows” Japanese Proverb

1. Awareness

Awareness is the realization that the negative self talk exists. Awareness is like a muscle. At first you may not be aware of our underlying thoughts. Awareness may begin as a hindsight realization that you habitually reacted in a certain way. Over time, by continually watching your reactions and thoughts, you begin to see yourself habitually thinking, talking and acting in a certain way as they happen. The key with growing awareness is that you do not react to what you are witnessing in yourself. Be an observer but not a participant in the drama.

For example, when I started this blog, I would get really excited about something I wanted to share and the immediate negative self talk would be “what you have to say is not important” and “no one cares what you have to say”. Because I am aware that this pattern of outdated self talk exists, I can hear those thoughts arising and then I can allow them to pass (more often) without taking the bait and buying into the message. If I were to buy into the message and feel badly about my abilities, I would be reacting. Stated another way, the passing thought of self doubt may exist in the moment, however it does not inhibit you from moving towards your goals.

2. Acceptance

In order for you to move past limiting self talk you have to accept that it is happening and influencing your life. The negative self talk will lose it’s grip the moment you decide to love and accept this unresolved aspect of yourself. When you are constantly reacting and judging yourself for your perceived weaknesses it creates a strangle hold over your life that leaves little room for growth.

You are a work in progress and the challenges that you face as you learn to love and accept all aspects yourself will add to the texture and richness of your life so that you can then love and accept these aspects in others. Love and acceptance of yourself regardless of the situation creates the space for you to grow and overcome.

“The person who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones” Anonymous

3. Action

Negative self talk can become so habitual and so powerful that it literally keeps you from pursuing many of your dreams. We are our own worst enemies! There are times however, that the light of inspiration will erode the negative talk for a short time and it is so important to ACT on this inspiration. A baby step at first perhaps, or diving in with both feet.  Over time, taking action during times of inspired thinking will slowly erode the power of the negative talk.  This is because with each action you take, you develop more and more confidence.

The key is to ACT in spite of the limiting beliefs you face in your life. First become aware, then accept, and most importantly act anyway.

I hope these 3 suggestions will help you to become more aware of negative self talk and give you the tools to move forward towards your goals and dreams anyway. We all have negative self talk, but it does not have to dictate the course of our lives.

Are you aware of how your self talk influences the decisions you make? What are your ways of dealing with negative self talk? I’d love to hear your ideas in the comments below.

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Tags: Well Being

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