If I were to tell you that there is a way to release past pain without seeing a therapist or spending hundreds of dollars on self help books. Would you consider updating your beliefs about how healing is “supposed” to happen?

What if you could release your personal history so that your past pain no longer consumes your energy, allowing you to finally step into the vision you have for yourself.

Many of us carry our life’s experiences on our backs. At times, we may be inspired to put our burdens down but invariably, I find that most women choose to pick up their burdens again. Perhaps it’s because they do not know they have a choice.  Or perhaps it’s just because they don’t know how to let go – to really LET GO

While we have become the amazing women that we are because of these experiences, many of us know that there is a Woman inside of us that is much lighter and brighter, if only we could find a way to process our most painful experiences so they no longer limit us.

I have a little rule that when I hear about something three times, it’s the universe’s way of nudging me to take a closer look. I have come to accept that there is Divine significance in nearly everything, if we are willing to pay attention.

When I first heard about Emotional Freedom Technique or EFT, a friend had suggested I use it to help me through a period where I was experiencing a lot of sadness. She explained that I could tap my body  in specific areas and this would help me feel better. I was skeptical that tapping my body would alleviate any of my emotions and so I thanked her but did not pursue it further.

The second time was nearly a year later when I read about it on Evelyn Lim’s insightful blog Abundance Tapestry. Because I enjoy Evelyn’s perspective she had my attention, but I was still skeptical. a Tapping therapy to release emotional or physical pain? Seemed far fetched, even for a mystical gal like myself.

Finally, I decided to give Emotional Freedom Technique a closer look after I received a brand consultation from Lana for my personal transformation blog Kiss the Bliss. She suggested tapping with EFT may help me overcome some lingering & limiting beliefsthat were preventing me from stepping into my power.

The Emotional Freedom Technique

EFT, developed by Gary Craig, is also known as emotional acupressure. It works along specific energy meridians to relieve and alleviate blocked or undigested energy through a repeated process of tapping lightly.

In all of life’s experiences, but usually the most painful ones, we were not given the opportunity to express or experience what has happened. Perhaps it is because your family is uncomfortable with certain emotions, perhaps it’s because you were too young to make realistic conclusions about what happened or there was no one available to you that could accept your feelings and guide you through the experience.

Releasing Undigested Experiences with a Tapping Therapy

When we cannot process the full realm of the experience, aspects of the experience remain “undigested” – that is, the energy of the emotion get’s buried deep into the tissue of your body. In Yoga, mindful Yogini’s will affirm that through the flow of postures, as the body moves and squeezes up against sensitive spots on the body such as the hips, lower back and chest (heart center) energy is released. If we are paying attention we will notice that the energy carries a certain frequency or feeling tone. It could be grief or sadness or anger, generally the ones that are not culturally acceptable. If we continue to pay attention and not get dragged into the drama the mind creates as we nudge up to this energy, we can safely allow these intense feelings to pass through the body.

EFT tapping therapy works in a similar way. By tapping therapeutically on energy meridians in the body while recalling an event and repeating a phrase that relates to your actual experience, the undigested emotion or energy surrounding the event is released and is guided out of the body is a relatively quick and pain-free way.

Once an event has been tapped and cleared, details that would otherwise would cause an emotional reaction either fade from memory (within minutes!) or no longer cause the same intense emotional reaction as before.

What Happens When The Energy From the Old Trauma Is Cleared?

When the energy around traumatic events are cleared with EFT, an empty space appears within the body, mind and soul that is no longer  occupied with the energy tone of a painful event. The body is able to relax, as well, the mind and soul, and a doorway is opened where peace and joy are able to penetrate into areas of awareness that were previously preoccupied with the pain (or the avoidance of pain.)

I have never had very much childhood memory, reaching all the way into my preteen years. As I work with EFT tapping, I am beginning to have little insights and childhood memories. One such memory was when I was three years old, trying to process why my Mother would leave me. A toddler sized memory, complete with a specific feeling and a very immature rationale, flooded into my awareness.  I remembered deciding that she had left me to be another little girls mommy because I was “bad”. I was then able to recall and tap the actual thoughts and feelings I had as a toddler (without the same emotioanal attachment)that were previously buried from my memory, allowing myself to express what I was never able to a little girl. The process took about 15 minutes. After, the specific memory I recalled faded from memory and I felt light and positive again.

EFT is also highly effective with children and Tappy is used around the world with injured and terminally ill children. My own daughter still taps on her own (4 years old) when she wishes to master her emotions!

Radical Acceptance IS Authenticity

Emotional Freedom Technique is also a safe way to begin living authentically. With EFT you state your actual experience, not the one you wished you had. By stating your actual experience, no matter what it is, you are allowing yourself to BE rather than meeting an ideal you have set for yourself. For those of us who have a strong inner critic, this may be the first time we have been able to accept our experience without judgment. How powerful!

Allowing yourself to BE is also powerful activator of your inner knowing. When we free ourselves from the habitual process of denying our experience, a little space is created where we can relax. It is within this relaxation that we begin to hear Divine’s voice speaking and guiding us.

In stating our actual experience through EFT tapping it is important to affirm that even though we feel whatever we feel (ie: perhaps even the desire NOT to forgive or feel good right now about anything )we choose to accept and love ourselves anyway.

It is said that one act of self love in a day can offset the energy created from an entire day of negative thoughts. That is how powerful Love is, so when we begin to really grasp how powerful it is to forgive and love ourselves anyway, this authentic acceptance of oneself can then ripple into our families, communities and the world. Change truly does begin within!

Emotional Freedom Technique, Quantum Healing & the New World

When we work with energy meridians by tapping with EFT, not only are we healing our own perspective but we have a powerful opportunity to forgive those involved in our trauma, but without any personal contact. Remember, forgiveness is not about the other person, it is about YOU however when you work with energy in any way, the other person also receives healing. This is possible through the process of entanglement, the discovery that two atoms although separated, continue to respond to each other and act in such a way as though they are still connected. Pretty cool!

This is a powerful way to look at our relationship to all things. Through healing ourselves we alter our own energy field, which helps others heal, which in turn effects the entire energy pool of humanity’s consciousness.

So, perhaps it is time to reevaluate our beliefs about what is possible for personal healing?

Is it really effective to spend years and hundreds of dollars on a chaise lounge rehashing our hurts?

Ancient medicine and modern science are showing us that healing can happen in an instant or at least, in a very short period of time. All that is required are a few practical techniques such as Emotional Freedom Technique and an open mind about what is possible.

But I have a sense that, somewhere inside your deep reservoir of inner knowing, you already knew this was possible. (wink)

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EFT: The Tapping Therapy for Resolving Lingering Trauma

Video title: Does a Fear of Judgment Keep You From Expression Your Passion?

(Note – the video above was originally intended for the amazing women inside the BraveHeart Women community)

Have you ever felt like there’s more about you than what you reveal?

I have felt this way many times. What started out as a desire to connect with like minded women and share information about living a healthy and green life through this blog became a huge realization about my self and how much I do not share.

About a year ago – I began to feel that this niche that I had chosen for HGM was only part of what I wanted to say. Each time I wanted to write about other topics I was passionate about, I held back and over time this blog began to feel and look neglected.

I began to feel a tremendous desire to step into my LIGHT and reach my wildest dreams!

This tremendous longing to know who I am at a deep level originally began as a feeling that I was not good enough. Coinciding with postpartum depression, I had many heard days last winter.

However, postpartum depression and this longing to DO and BE more soon became the greatest gift of my life.

One day last January (2010) I came sobbing out of the bedroom and announced to my husband that I was tired of my impossible expectations of myself and that I did not want to suffocate the life out of myself any longer. I was done with perfection and procrastination.

About a week later I had moment that I’ll call “extreme insight” when I looked outside while a voice deep inside said to me “WE are VASTLY underestimating our ROLE in the Universe”

Following those two realizations, I have been on an intense personal & spiritual journey that has led me from energy healing with “The Reconnection” to receiving incredible personal coaching to attending empowering all-woman retreats and doing deep shamanic work to release generations of trauma from my DNA.

What used to be a focus on SELF HELP has transformed into to SELF DISCOVERY and I have realized WHO the voice is, that I’ve been hiding all my life.

So what does this mean for HealthyGreenMoms? It means that I will probably begin sharing content here that does not necessarily reflect healthy or green in the literal sense. Although I know now, more than ever, that I desire to help heal and preserve the planet, my focus will be on  inspiring women like myself – who have a tremendous desire to step into their light by following their passion to help transform our world one woman at a time.

The video above is my very first ever online video.

You can find me at BraveHeart Women by checking out my profile. I have also started a community for women with passion called “Kiss the Bliss“ I’d love to connect with you there. Joining Braveheart Women and attending the BraveHeart Women RISE 2010 event in LA last year was a huge moment for me where everything began to flow and make sense for me again. All my life I have wanted to meet and connect with women who choose to collaborate rather than compete. If you wish to be inspired or BE an inspiration, please join me there.

I also invite you to connect with me by “liking” my new Kiss the Bliss FB page. This is where I am hanging out until my new website is ready.

Blessings!

Monica

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A New Beginning for HGM

How is your New Years going so far? Did you make any resolutions for 2009? I have to admit, I’ve never really “believed” in New Years Resolutions but in the last couple of years I have become really excited about making New Year’s Resolutions. So what happened, why am I such a believer in resolutions now?

My previous pessimism about new years resolutions was pretty simple: Why bother? Most resolutions are rarely kept, right? Everywhere I turn, I see good intentions and ideas become shelved as the demands of life take over for yet another year. Ouch! Not very optimistic is it? I don’t have to look far though, because there are 5 reasons why my own goals were always doomed from the beginning:

1. My goals were too BIG! I’ve never had a problem with thinking big but sometimes the goal can be too big, perhaps even idealistic? When a goal is too big it is difficult to achieve it in a realistic period of time. Big goals need to be broken down into smaller goals that can be continuously achieved within the weeks and months. A continuous realization of small goals is the direct way to the achievement of your big goals. I love ideals, possibilities and shooting for the stars, BUT the path getting there has to be laid out in sometimes much less glorifying steps.
2. My goals should have been called “ideas” instead because they were never written down! Statistically, those that write down their goals are the most successful at achieving them. There is no way of getting around this. If you are serious about a goal, write it down or I personally recommend going one step further by creating a dream board. Cut out the pictures that represent your dream and place them in a spot where you will see them everyday! I tell you, since I have started this, nearly every one of my goals have come true.
3. My goals lacked specific details because they were never written down.  If the details were never there, how could I embody the realization of the goal? You have to be able to smell and taste your goal in specific details!
4. I failed to ACT. Volumes can be written about the importance of ACTION, and every procrastinating perfectionist knows that action is the killer or the savior of goals! The secret I have finally learned is that every time I act on an idea or goal, doors are opened that would otherwise remain closed. The world moves for those who are moving!
5. I cared too much about others opinions.  I needed the support of others rather than standing alone and confident with my own goals. Support is valuable but you may not get it in your immediate circle so be resourceful and seek out the support you need to stay on track. This week Tim Ferriss, author of The 4 Hour Work Week had a good blog post this week about “The Things I’ve Learned and Loved in 2008“. I appreciated many of his lessons including one regarding handling people’s opinions:

“It doesn’t matter how many people don’t get it. What matters is how many people do. If you have a strong informed opinion, don’t keep it to yourself. Try and help people and make the world a better place. If you strive to do anything remotely interesting, just expect a small percentage of the population to always find a way to take it personally. F*ck ‘em. There are no statues erected to critics.” T.Ferriss

I think I’ve learned a great deal from my past resolution foibles. I now look forward to setting goals and achieving goals as a regular part of my life. Because we set multiple goals for the year, we don’t make a big point of setting them exactly on the 1st of January. Rather, my husband and I spend a few of our evenings in the beginning of January discussing our years past and what we hope for the following year.

Next, we begin to create uncensored goals lists. We don’t edit ourselves at all. The editing and fine tuning can come later as we determine what is achievable this year, which goals are carried over from last year, and those that have a 2-5 year plan. We create these uncensored lists as a couple and individually.

One of my personal goals this year is to spend more time studying healing by doing in some additional sessions in past life regression. I have already had two sessions and I was simply floored at the wisdom that is accessed at the core Soul level. PLR has put to rest some deep pain that I was carrying with me. For me, it’s not important if the “past life” happened or not. It’s more about communicating with my Self without the usual smoke and mirrors created by personality. (O.k. so now you know a little more about yours truly)

I believe we can’t really move forward unless we understand a little more about “how and why” we make decisions, for better or worse! For example, the realization that I was making goals that were too lofty and “unachievable” because I was a perfectionist who was too afraid of trying and then “failing”. I don’t used these terms and guidelines any longer to measure myself and as a result, I have allowed action without fear to finally be a bigger part of my life.

The next few articles will continue to focus on more ways to nurture your dreams and goals, but in the meantime have a look these articles:

Simple Mom has generated a great list of 20 Questions for a New Years Eve Reflection that can be asked anytime. This is a great way of understanding the “how and why” of our decisions! She then follows with 20 Questions for Planning New Year’s Goals. I have found questions like these really valuable in getting past the “brain block” that can occur with a goal setting sessions.

The Change Blog has a valuable article “The Art of Anticipating Obstacles”. Any seasoned goal setter knows that obstacles do not represent “failure”. Expecting obstacles puts an individual in a solution oriented mindset rather than a problem centered mindset.

The article “Is Your Thinkin Stinkin?” by yours truly, offers some suggestions from personal development master Jim Rohn on getting in the right mindset to achieve your goals and dreams.

How do you feel about resolutions? Can you relate to any of the reasons why I’ve crashed and burned in the past? How do you help yourself achieve your New Year’s Resolutions?

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Don’t Make The Same New Year’s Resolution Mistakes I’ve Made!

Take a look at the supplements aisle in any drugstore and you’ll find a myriad of products designed to increase your energy levels. It’s easy to opt for cup after cup of java only to crash hours later; overworked, overstressed and left with little to give. Finding your optimal energy while caring for young children can also seem elusive after many late nights tending to colds, teething, feeding and restless toddlers.

Finding time to relax, much less learning how to increase energy levels may sound unrealistic for busy moms however some of the best energy boosts are little enjoyable activities that help to ease stress and refresh your spirit.

To be sure, there is no single best way to achieve your optimal energy zone, although optimal energy resides somewhere in between giving attention to the spiritual, mental, emotional, physical and relational aspects of ourselves in a non aggressive, obsessive, or overly indulgent way.

Aside from the benefits of regular exercise, here are some ideas on how you can increase your energy levels by choosing simple and out of the ordinary ways to approach your health.

1. Read an inspiring book
2. Turn off the TV
3. Blast your favorite music
4. Take stock of what’s right with your life
5. Help someone in need
6. Meditate, even 5 minutes per day to breathe deeply and Be is great!
7. Start each day with warm water and a squeeze of lemon
8. Snack on raw fruit and vegetables
9. Take a walk around the block
10. Have a pillow fight with your children
11. Go for a drive with the windows down
12. Do some gardening
13. Roll in the leaves
14. Fire up the blender and make a fruit smoothie
15. Meet a funny friend for lunch
16. Get with nature. Where is your special place to be?
17. Break the monotony and mix up your daily routine
18. Lighten the load and purge your stuff
19. Cut the sugar from your diet
20. Don’t sleep in, set your alarm instead
21. Ditch the coffee for green tea
22. Take a warm bath with citrus essential oils
23. Create a dream board
24. Learn how to breathe deeply each day
25. Eat like a baby, little but often
26. Don’t eat within 3 hours of bedtime
27. Sigh up for that class you’ve always wanted to take
28. Drink more water and less booze
29. Get in the game! Create a list of realistic personal goals
30. Have a fresh juiced carrot, apple, celery, ginger drink. Wowzers!
31. Make a list of fears, and then overcome them one by one
32. Test drive your dream car (and then put it on your dream board!)
33. Say NO more often! It’s OK to lighten your load. Really!
34. Take up Hatha Yoga
35. Pay someone a sincere compliment
36. Spend time with people who love you dearly
37. Exercise your funny bone and laugh at yourself

This list is only the beginning. What do you do to boost your energy, reduce your stress and feel great?

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37 Ways To Increase Your Energy (Without Breaking A Sweat)

Are your predominant thoughts focused on the love and gratitude you have for your inner gifts, or are you more focused on your perceived limitations? Either way, your predominant thoughts will decide the course of your life.

Last week I wrote about Stinkin Thinkin and how your personal philosophy determines the outcome of your life regardless of how aware you are of your deep seated beliefs. Unfortunately, it’s all too common to give your limiting beliefs too much weight. When you are immersed in the power and intensity of fear or self doubt, it is easy to feel isolated. Often we forget that despite appearances of confidence, self doubt can often be just as powerful in the woman beside us.

In addition to any limiting beliefs you have about yourself, many of us also field an onslaught of negative self talk on a daily basis. When self doubt and fear seems to be such a powerful force in your life, how do you begin to overcome the negative self talk and move ahead with more confidence?

3 Simple Ways To Overcome Negative Self Talk

1. Awareness

Awareness is the realization that the negative self talk exists. Awareness is like a muscle. At first you may not be aware of our underlying thoughts. Awareness may begin as a hindsight realization that you habitually reacted in a certain way. Over time, by continually watching your reactions and thoughts, you begin to see yourself habitually thinking, talking and acting in a certain way as they happen. The key with growing awareness is that you do not react to what you are witnessing in yourself. Be an observer but not a participant in the drama.

For example, when I started this blog, I would get really excited about something I wanted to share and the immediate negative self talk would be “what you have to say is not important” and “no one cares what you have to say”. Because I am aware that this pattern of outdated self talk exists, I can hear those thoughts arising and then I can allow them to pass (more often) without taking the bait and buying into the message. If I were to buy into the message and feel badly about my abilities, I would be reacting. Stated another way, the passing thought of self doubt may exist in the moment, however it does not inhibit you from moving towards your goals.

“Fear is only as deep as the mind allows” Japanese Proverb

2. Acceptance

In order for you to move past limiting self talk you have to accept that it is happening and influencing your life. The negative self talk will lose it’s grip the moment you decide to love and accept this unresolved aspect of yourself. When you are constantly reacting and judging yourself for your perceived weaknesses it creates a strangle hold over your life that leaves little room for growth.

You are a work in progress and the challenges that you face as you learn to love and accept all aspects yourself will add to the texture and richness of your life so that you can then love and accept these aspects in others. Love and acceptance of yourself regardless of the situation creates the space for you to grow and overcome.

“The person who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones” Anonymous

3. Action

Negative self talk can become so habitual and so powerful that it literally keeps you from pursuing many of your dreams. We are our own worst enemies! There are times however, that the light of inspiration will erode the negative talk for a short time and it is so important to ACT on this inspiration. A baby step at first perhaps, or diving in with both feet.  Over time, taking action during times of inspired thinking will slowly erode the power of the negative talk.  This is because with each action you take, you develop more and more confidence.

The key is to ACT in spite of the limiting beliefs you face in your life. First become aware, then accept, and most importantly act anyway.

I hope these 3 suggestions will help you to become more aware of negative self talk and give you the tools to move forward towards your goals and dreams anyway. We all have negative self talk, but it does not have to dictate the course of our lives.

Are you aware of how your self talk influences the decisions you make? What are your ways of dealing with negative self talk? Let’s talk more in the comments below.

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3 Ways To Ditch Negative Self Talk