Is Your Blog Life Spinning Out of Control? My New Found Clarity

by Monica on February 26, 2009

blogging-clarity

You may have noticed that I have not been around in nearly 2 weeks. Where do I begin? A hacking sick hubby, a puking child, a soul reading, major physical exhaustion and some time for deep reflection. The end result? I have found the clarity around HGM that I have been missing for quite some time.

When Sommer at Green & Clean Mom posted her blog “Mommy Bloggers Are Quitting” I nearly fell of my seat. Boy was she in my head with this one. Blogging has become increasingly challenging for me as time goes on. I am now 8 months along so much of my reflection may be related to my need to “get the house in order” but regardless, it was time to reevaluate the reasons why I started HGM in the first place.

I contemplated “quitting” for 2.5 seconds (well, maybe a day…) but it just didn’t feel right. I have invested so much of my heart into this blog, could I really let it go? Where would it go? And to whom? Since I was secretly going through the same delima when Sommer’s post went live, I wanted to share my thoughts on some of the challenges I have faced as a “mommy blogger.”

Why Do You Blog?

Becoming a mom impassioned me with direction, purpose and a need to share ideas with others. I was moved to share what has been valuable to me in finally creating a happy and healthy life. HGM is my way to express my excitement about healing illness, discovering purpose, abundance, living a healthy non toxic life and being true to yourself. I also wanted to learn to write because writing and articulating my thoughts does not come easily to me! I do feel a sense of accomplishment when I am able to articulate something that I think may be interesting or helpful to others.

After reading the comments on Sommer’s post it seems that many moms blog to fill a void. Connecting with others, sharing your passion, making a difference, validation, and feeling recognized are all human desires that must be filled. As a mom, I think these desires are increased because we simply don’t interact with the world the way we used to before having children.

Even though blogging may fill various voids or needs I cannot relate to comments like “If I didn’t blog, I would just find something else to fill my time.”  Blogging isn’t “filling time” for me. Time is precious and I aim to be fulfilled so I try to make the most of how I spend my time. I am not one to pass “me time” by chatting, having coffee and shopping if I stopped blogging.

I realized that I needed to get back to why I blog in the first place.

The Problem Blogging Moms Face

Time. Mom bloggers are up late at night when the family is fast asleep and they are likely the first ones up in the morning in order to get the time on their blog. It is totally understandable that a mom would feel that blogging is taking way time with her children and spouse because blogging can be very time consuming!

Naps and evenings are the only times I blog because I choose not to blog in front of my daughter. She is too young to play independently for a sustained period of time and I don’t think she needs to learn that “mommy is on the computer” just yet. I’m especially conscious about this because I grew up where there was almost no divide between my folks personal interests and parenting so many times I did not receive their undivided attention.

Regardless of when and how you find time to blog, it takes time to find a blogging rhythm. When you finally have time to blog, it’s literally GO time. Creativity on demand! I may be most productive in the mornings but may not get time to write until the evening when I am dog tired. My note book has a thousand scribbles trying to preserve inspiration and creativity for “my blogging time.”

I realized that my blog time was spinning out of control and my actual creative time getting shorter and shorter.

Getting Lost In Blogland

Time is limited and blogging is a huge learning curve in the beginning. Plugin’s, html, subscribers, keywords, social marketing, analytics, sitemaps, policys, giveaways, emails, PR solicitation…the list goes on!

I normally dive right into what I am interested in and learn it inside out so this is what I did with blogging. Learning the inside-out of blogging was further fueled by comments, stats, subscribers, rankings and all the things that showed me that HGM was starting to reach people. Yay!

The only problem was that I was getting bogged down with the logistics of running a blog! My valuable time was spent maintaining & growing HGM and frankly, it began to feel like a job that was stressing me out and extinguishing my inspiration to write.

I realized that my blog was running me! In order to be true to the reasons why I blog in the first place, I needed to take back my time from Blogland.

Getting Back To Basics

As soon as I realized that I was bogged down with maintaining/growing  my blog it was easy to decide what to do with HGM.

I have decided to take my time back so that I can continue to grow in the field of health, quantum physics, healing arts, personal development and conscious living.

I don’t want to be a pro-blogger so I am no longer as concerned with how my blog is doing. I am reducing my stress by opting out of any “agreements” I have unconsciously set up such as: minimum posts per week to maintain stats, readers, ad networks, marketing or any other self inflicted rules. This means that I will post an article when I am inspired to do so. No pressure here! I want every bit of content that is published at HGM to be the best it can be.

I’ve realized that each mom blogger who is overwhelmed but loves to blog would do well to reestablish reasonable expectations that are true to herself. It’s easy to spin out of control and I’ve learned that by reevaluating my relationship with blogging and choosing to blog from my own terms is the key to creating a more fulfilled life.

I’d love your thoughts: Why do you blog and how do you maintain your blogging balance?

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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Sommer Green & Clean Mom February 26, 2009 at 10:12 am

Monica, we think similar but I don’t think there is anything wrong with filling a void with something meaningful and that gives you pleasure, like blogging. It the spinning out of control and losing focus that gets all of in trouble no matter what the vice might be (blogging, talking on the phone, working out, drugs, alcohol, eating, etc…). That’s why I there needs to be a mindshift or as you call it getting back to the basics. When my kids napped, I was bored. At night I was bored and didn’t want to do more laundry or watch another stupid t.v. show and thus blogging and the internet has indeed filled my void, given me a purpose and I’m not bored. It’s just so easy to get lost in that blog world and not focus.

Sommer Green & Clean Moms last blog post..Toxic Disney and the Economy

Shannon February 26, 2009 at 12:18 pm

Thanks for the great post Monica. Blogging does indeed have it’s ups and downs. I started “luvinthemommyhood” when my daughter was 2 months old and I found myself in a whole new world with nobody to talk to about all the funny things that motherhood brings. It was also for my family who lives far from us. It has then grown into a passion and a love for me. But most importantly it helps keep me sane.

My daughter is now almost two and I am a proud stay at home mom. I find blogging a creative outlet as well as an intellectual one. It feeds that part of my soul that having a full time job used to do. Having people read luvinthemommyhood is rewarding, but I keep the blog going for me and my family. What keeps mommy happy helps the whole family to be happy.

Shannons last blog post..sewing for your toddler

John Rocheleau February 26, 2009 at 12:32 pm

“I have decided to take my time back so that I can continue to grow in the field of health, quantum physics, healing arts, personal development and conscious living.”

I tell myself that I have just this one go at life; that this life I am living now (or not) is it. That forces me to see how important it is to live consciously and deliberately right now, instead of thinking, “well, there’s always tomorrow, next year, or the next life.”.

I applaud your your commitment to yourself. By prioritizing your own development, not only will you be more happy, but you will also have so much more to share with your family and your readers. Your children in particular will learn more from you by osmosis, than in any other way; as will your husband.

As you happily develop in your inspired fields, everyone around you will change in some way because of it.

:-)
John

John Rocheleaus last blog post..I Love You

Monica February 26, 2009 at 1:40 pm

@Sommer – I agree with you that filling a void with something meaningful like blogging is a great thing. I was thinking about “filling a void” in simpler terms that blogging can easily be replaced with shopping, chatting or tv and my perspective is that blogging is more than that. (as you also pointed out in your article) A moms perspective is making a difference so this mind shift about “how” we blog is necessary to avoid getting swamped and overwhelmed so we can continue to make a difference in our own ways. Thanks for introducing this discussion to us. I certainly don’t like to see mom bloggers quitting because they have something valuable to say. I hope we’ll soon hear many more points of view!

hopealso (of hippie dippie bébé) February 26, 2009 at 8:50 pm

Hi Monica!

What’s beautiful about your words is that they clearly speak from a place of respect for living, health, and sincere being.

At hippie dippie bébé I’ve had to slow down posting when I go through my low spells (or my kids do!) And I may not follow the typical trajectory of a mommy blogger. But I have an audience, and I receive comments regularly from people that I’ve reached. I don’t always have the time to read and comment on other mommy bloggers blogs – though I do respect so many mamas out there! – so I don’t have as much of an online community as I could. I sacrifice, in the same way that you mentioned, some of those “requirements” of blogging (daily posting, etc.), in order to have time to do all the things I want to do with my life. To life that complete experience. It’s not always perfect, but I realize that I can’t do everything, even when I berate myself sometimes for not being able to! Ultimately my blog is up and I get plenty traffic. I know that I spread information and sometimes just a sense that someone else is thinking what you’re thinking.

You’re doing the same for me now! It’s fabulous to be reminded of the fully joy that exists to being and reading and learning. Sometimes I do get caught up in what can be done in the online space, but the “real world” (as it’s called in the gaming community) has so much brilliance to stimulate us. It’s important to remember that our online selves are not the only path to interest and activity!

Thanks for the reminder! There’s more than one way to live our lives. Much beauty and flourish to you in yours!

hopealso (of hippie dippie bébé)s last blog post..Once Upon a Time… The End… Once Upon a Time… The End. (Reading with Baby!)

Monica February 27, 2009 at 12:01 am

@Shannon – Your site is very cool! You are so right that whatever keeps mommy happy benefits the whole family. Thanks for visiting :)

@John – My thinking exactly. The more you nourish what goes into you, the more you have to blog about. Thanks for your encouragement, it’s great to hear from you!

@hopealso – Sounds like we have similar thoughts about this. We can’t do everything and it’s important that what we do is what’s best for us and our family. Like John was saying, a stimulating off-line life can make for the best content of all provided we make the time for it. Thanks for sharing your experience at HGM!

Autumn Beck | Cloth Diapers March 2, 2009 at 9:38 pm

I just found your blog through Facebook and became a “fan”. I blog because I have thousands of readers depending on my advice! I can’t imagine ever not doing it. I have 3 children, 1 due tomorrow :D and homeschool. My children know all about blogging and internet business so that makes it easier.

Autumn Beck | Cloth Diaperss last blog post..How My Cloth Diaper Journey Began

Daphne March 2, 2009 at 11:39 pm

Hi Monica,

I found you through Evelyn’s site, and love the name of your blog. I’m not a mum so I have much more time to blog, and even find it challenging to keep to a schedule. Like you, I decided that I would post only when I felt inspired to or had something to say.

You have my admiration for maintaining a blog while looking after the family and household. I don’t think I could manage!

Daphnes last blog post..Do You Have A Personal Creed?

Work at Home April 7, 2009 at 7:27 pm

I bounced around a few blogs on this topic, and I agree that spinning out of control is the issue at hand. If we take our last time management class into recollection here, we should know that controlling a schedule is important, and allowing a schedule to control us is very bad.

Unfortunately (or fortunately), I believe there is a passion here that is hard to deny. Yes, we want all the time in the world for our loved ones, but sometimes, we find that blog friends and readers pay us back with great respect, whereas a family takes us for granted (maybe a teeny bit… admit it). Although our family loves us with all their hearts, and we know and understand this; we get instant gratification from other’s who congratulate us on our writing, applaud us for our statistics, and even help support us in our efforts to bring in a little bacon for our family.

As a web site builder I feel a ton of gratification if I make a little tiny bit of dough along the way. I feel tons of accomplishment and true heart feelings when an actual live person writes to me and says I’ve changed their lives for the better by helping them with my site. Where my teenager says “Mom, you talk too much” or “Mom, I need _____ ” and my husband says “I’m hungry” or “Help me with ____ please.” But afterwards, I do not get a thank you. Ok, sometimes I get a thank you, but I have a teenager, so you know the drill!

The bottom line here is: I would hate for a mother to lose the chance to get gratification and appreciation by quitting a blog. She should stay and schedule her time. Her family loves her and she needs her blog.

Rebecca March 26, 2010 at 6:28 am

Hi Monica,
I love reading your blog–your articles always hit a note with me just like the one from Sommer did with you.
I have not been ‘faithful’ to my blog over the winter and am feeling quite guilty. It needs a makeover and I keep postponing that. I guess a starting point would be to simply post when I feel inspired instead of feeling I have to do it.
I love blogging but also love spending time with my kids and normally the kids take priority.
Have a great day,
Rebecca
Rebecca

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