How do you approach life? Do you see possibilities and opportunities at every corner? Are you a YES person who finds the “how to” later? Do you encourage others when they come to you with their crazy ideas? Do circumstances rule your life or do you find a way, regardless?
When you are gearing up for change in your life, it is so important to continually put yourself in front of inspiration. However, there is also a dominant ruling force in most of our lives that many times renders inspiration to be fleeting at best. This ruling force is your thoughts.
Your thoughts are the daily force that cause the creative power to act within your life, for better or for worse. Repetitive thoughts do become things, so if you want to move forward in your life, looking at your perspective can be very helpful to see if your thoughts are in alignment with the vision that you have for your life.
I wrote recently about overcoming some personal obstacles to find peace in my life. Looking back on the person I am today compared to who I was a few years ago I would say one of the most obvious differences is in the way that I think. I used to be as pessimistic and skeptical as they come. I even rationalized my perspective as a good character quality because at least “someone should be realistic.”
What I did not realize is that my doubt and skepticism was affecting every area of my life because I easily saw the problems in every opportunity that came to me. Because I saw problems instead of solutions, I usually was able to convince myself that each opportunity was not the “right” opportunity. This doubting, raised eyebrow view of life permeated into every area of my life until I finally woke up to the fact that I had a big old case of stinkin’ thinkin’ and it was time to overhaul my personal philosophy!
“You can have more than you’ve got because you can become more than you are” Jim Rohn
One of the people that has influenced me a great deal is an extraordinary human being named Jim Rohn. If you don’t know him already, I highly recommend his free weekly newsletter! His timeless philosophy gently shattered my self important opinions about the world in such a unique way that left me unable to defend and forced me to change.
In his book “The Five Major Pieces to the Life Puzzle” he outlines the five principles for attaining whatever you want to have and becoming whatever you wish to be. These are the fundamentals of success that are unchanging throughout the history of human achievement: Philosophy, Attitude, Activity, Results and Lifestyle. The book is $12 and worth every single penny.
Jim Rohn describes our personal philosophy this way: “In the process of living, the winds of circumstance blow on us all in an unending flow that touches each of our lives. What guides us to different destinations in life is determined by the set of our sail. The way each of us thinks makes the major difference in where each of us arrives.”
He goes on to say that your life is a direct product of the way you choose to think. The way you think then directs your behavior and habits. Your philosophy is formed through your experience of events and the multitude of sources in your lives. In a way, your philosophy is not really your philosophy, it has been given to you, by your friends, family, environment, history, teachers, media etc.
The question you must ask is: Has your current philosophy given you the life that you desire? If not, then it is time to choose your own philosophy.
Many falsely believe that finances, upbringing & past, lack of time, circumstances, family etc hold us back from achieving the life of our dreams.
In order to get to the root of your philosophy about success, ask yourself questions like:
- What is my relationship with money?
- How do I regard successful people?
- Do I feel that I deserve a good life?
- What am I afraid to lose if I go for my dreams?
- What am I willing to risk to accomplish my dreams?
I soon realized that I had accepted the philosophy that: successful people were untrustworthy, that money was the root of evil and that if I was a successful woman I would have to give up any semblance of a family life. I believed that much of success required luck or that I had to know someone important to have a chance at big opportunities. As I write these limitations in my thinking I realize today how silly these sound. But the clincher is that I didn’t know that I thought this way until I dug deeper! It was all below the surface. If you asked then about this, I would have disagreed with all those statements!
Until we ask these questions and take the time to think them out our habitual thinking and conditioning will be the dominant predictor in the outcome of our life.
Our personal philosophy, known or unknown, will decide the course of our lives. Once I accepted that I had some pretty substantial and limited beliefs, it was a truly liberating experience to replace them with a new philosophy.
Here is a look at how to build a new & powerful personal Philosophy – one of the five fundamentals listed in the book.
Building a powerful personal philosophy.
1. Don’t erase…replace! Begin to seek out the new information that your success and happiness requires. To change our thinking habits we need to input new information. Begin to learn from the people you admire and you will be introduced to a new language and way of thinking. You will soon have the resources to make different conclusions based upon a more successful perspective.
“The decisions we are making are not wrong based on the information we have, it is the information we have that is causing us to make wrong decisions” Jim Rohn
2. Learn from your past experiences. Make a review of your actions and the lessons learned. Make sure you have a truthful account of the event so that you don’t continue to escape from reality. You can learn from both failure and success and adjust your course for the future.
“Failure must teach us, or surely success will not reward us” Jim Rohn
3. Learn from an outside voice. Get an objective appraisal of your growth from someone you respect who will be able to examine our actions and determine if you have stayed on course with the fundamentals of success. The objective is to be able to see things you otherwise would not be able to see.
“We are wise, indeed, if we discipline ourselves to take council from someone who cares, lest life and circumstances force us to take it from someone who does not care” Jim Rohn
4. Learn from other people’s experience with failure. You also want to study failure so you can learn what not to do. I found this funny when I first read it, but then I wondered, when have I ever made a study of failure? Do you know what to avoid based on the evidence or do you simply follow along? The majority is not right the majority of the time!
“If we had more opportunity to learn from the negative experiences of others, we might well save our own lives from certain disaster” Jim Rohn
5. Learn from other people’s success. Spend time gathering the knowledge and ideas that success requires. The habits, the disciplines, the language, the thinking. A great place to start is by reading a daily quote from the great minds of past and present. Choose a few mentors to learn from. Jim Rohn is a great place to start!
6. The power of positive influence. We are all within the sphere of influence. Who you are today is a collage of the many people that have influenced you over the years. Choose to avoid at all costs the power of the wrong influence weaving it’s effect on you. Look for people you can admire and respect, even if they are not in your direct circle of influence.
“In this lifetime there is no greater project than the deliberate development of our own lives” Jim Rohn
I hope you enjoyed some of these ideas. There are still more suggestions to overhaul your philosophy in the book and then 4 more principles for becoming the best you can be in order to attract the best life that has to offer. Free yourself from “stinkin thinkin” and reward yourself with a treasure for your mind with this book. You will love his simple timeless philosophy!
WIN IT: I’m giving away a copy of “The Five Major Pieces to the Life Puzzle” to a random winner. All you have to do to be entered is leave me a comment and tell me about one limiting belief that you have that holds you back from living your best life AND THEN, most important, tell me one way you can overcome it. Contest open to Canadian and USA residents. Winner announced here on August 1st and contacted by email. View official rules here
WINNER: Congratulations to Lori (comment#19) you have won this giveaway and I am so excited to send this book to you since it seems you are quite a reader! I’ve contacted you by email.
These are my thoughts on living a healthy and simple life. I'm a modern mom with some traditional ideas. At home, I try to clear the confusion from all the conflicting health and parenting advice with some common sense and a natural philosophy. This is the sanest way I know how to navigate the 21 century.
{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }
My outlandish belief that I need to be the best parent or the infamous ‘perfect’ parent can handicap me. I overlook how much fun my kids have because my house isn’t perfect, as an example. I am my own worst enemy!
The one way I can overcome it is by loving myself for who I am and what I have to offer to my family, my friends and my community.
I have a fear of “doing”. It prevents me from living. I see what other do and want to participate but I don’t have enough trust in myself. I don’t set realistic goals or stick to them so I fail. If I could get over my fear of failing, I feel like I could do anything I put my mind to!
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Excellent Review! Very thought provoking and YES, I want to read the book. I have to get through my stack thus far and then my Google Reader but after all that, I’ll give this book a try. As you know, I have a life puzzle I’m putting together. Would this help? LOL! Oh, I stumbled you too!
My limiting belief has always been the same one throughout my entire life: “I’m not good enough.” That idea was planted in my head throughout my childhood (by my mother) and it’s something I’ve had to fight with throughout my adult life, as well. The way I am still trying to overcome it is by countering it with positive affirmations every time the thought pops into my mind. I repeat positive phrases like, “I am more than enough,” or, “What I have to offer is plenty.”
Terrific post!
I I have that “I’m not good enough” in my head too! It came from my ex-husband. I work hard to believe in myself now but sometimes that voice comes out. I try to have positive talks with myself now. I have this saying above my desk at work that basically says to the world I may be one person but to one person I am their whole world!
Thank you for sharing these thoughts! Great information here!
A piece of advice to all those Moms who think everything needs to be perfect. Enjoy your kids while they are young spend time with them laugh and sing and act silly sometimes because when they grow up they will remember those times not the times when you had a perfect house and nothing was out of place.
I’m a childfree person but I do agree with all six well researched and well written points you have made in your post above. I love your clean and crisp layout. The colour scheme is peaceful and fits to well with the niche you are blogging in. Best wishes for successful and happy blogging.
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What an excellent article! I really enjoyed this. It made me think, and I can always use some good mind stimulation. LOL
I have one major thing that holds me back…it boils down to a fear of achieving I think. I have wanted to become a doula, then Lactation Educator, then who knows for sooo long. When I learned about those jobs I knew immediately in my heart that I was meant for it. But when I envision myself in the future, working with clients, doing the normal things that go along with the job description, I feel happy and excited at first. But then, inevitably, I start hearing a nagging little voice, discouraging me. I worry that my clients won’t approve of me since I did not attend college, that I won’t be likeable, that I will not be able to make clients feel comfortable and do a good job….that i will let them down and ruin their birth experience. I realize most of this is preposterous, but it scares me enough to make me put off training a little longer.
I don’t know how to make it better. I don’t know where to start.
I am a worrier – worrying about everything is what holds me back. i overanalyze everything
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I think that I compare myself to other people and always feel like I’m not as good so I don’t try. It’s easier for me to take a backseat and stay in the shadows. I think there’s so much I am capable of but I don’t push myself or give myself the opportunity to try because I’m afraid of failure or not meeting expectations.
I have a fear of not being accepted, so I tend to keep with my family.
I overanalyze every situati0n that I am in. I have realized the problem for a while now, and have been working on fixing it. Overanalyzing things only makes yourself worry and take actions on the situation when you probably shouldn’t have.
Mine is the challenge of falling into the trap of setting unrealistic expectations of myself (I am a recovering perfectionist.) The one toll that supprts me best with this is writing 5 daily self-acknowledgements of even the littlest things that I am doing to move forward on my personal growth path of living true to myself. It really helps to quite all teh negative self-talk!
I have a lot of irrational fears due to anxiety disorders. Like driving, being out in public places without my husband, talking to strangers. I’ve started saying to myself “I will not live in fear” and it’s really, truly helped me.
I have a fear of being raped again. Lots of times I’m scared to even leave my home. I never go out anywhere alone.
My most limiting belief has been focusing what I DON’T want instead of what I want. Ie. “I don’t know where I’m going to get the money to pay this bill,” instead of “I’m paying this bill”. What has helped me a lot is reading “The Secret” and learning to focus on positive thoughts and emotions instead of negative ones. I am overcoming it by stopping myself in my tracks whenever I allow myself to acknowledge doubt or lack and focusing on abundance and overflow.
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I would say I concentrate more on opportunities as on obstacles. And I’m constantly looking for solutions.
But once in a while I loose my energy – I feel that I will never be able to learn my lesson. I think that it takes to long and there is “no land on the horizon”.
Thanks God for good friends that help you put things in different perspective.
The journey continues and I keep looking … and listening to my soul’s true words.
as a psychotherapist who has been on this earth for 65 i have pretty much over come my self limiting beliefs but I spend my days assisting others in countering acting theirs – Life is a Journey and we only get to traverse it one time – I ask whose limiting tape is playing in your head and then we try to deactivate it and rewrite a new one that is based in reality and is true for the person today!
Monica, thanks for posting a comment on my blog.
I too used to think myself as being “pragmatic” and “realistic” rather than being “negative”. I did not realise that many of my thoughts were in fact self limiting. As I began to unravel the mysteries of what went on inside my mind, I became aware that many of my own girlfriends and even some male friends were suffering from the same.
Being one who did not usually share about my own emotions, I decided to be more authentic and reveal what I really thought. My journey has brought me to writing my own blog and now, in the business of helping others find more happiness and success in their own lives.
From your post today, I can see how similar we’ve been in terms of experiences. Thanks for sharing! I wish you every bit of success and abundance in your journey!
Evelyn
Evelyn Lim | Attraction Mind Maps last blog post..Face Up To Your 6 Basic Fears
I am have many things….one is my self-esteem and overcoming the negativity my mom put into me starting from a young age. I’ve been going through David Burn’s book on Feeling Good, and I plan to order his self-esteem book too. I also am going through a book on Mindfulness and Meditation to help with my negative thoughts….about myself, about life.
My limiting belief is similar to a few others: I’m not good enough. I question myself constantly. I never think that I’m good at the things I do. I’m not a good enough mother, a good enough friend, a good enough daughter. I don’t work hard enough. I should be a better person.
The thing that I need to work on is knowing that I *am* good enough. I’m me! That’s good enough.
i have no confidence, love to find a way to overcome it
Great stuff Monica. I’ll add a little thought I guess… I have been down a long ongoing path of trying to think positive and trying to balance what is “right”. (without guilt) I finally decided I have to do what is right for “me”, not everyone else. Only because it always seemed like a loosing battled and nothing to others was good enough. Long story short…TOXIC PEOPLE, (reguardless if they are close friends or even famlily) removed from my life has caused a surprising release of stress and anxiety. I have to live my life… not how others want me to. There is a healthy way to do it, and still balance friends and family, it’s all about respect.
Worrying about things that I have no control over! I guess the best thing is to busy myself with other things that I can control.
I’m pretty sure that events that happened in my childhood are affecting me today but perhaps it’s only because I’m letting it affect me and I’m not pushing past it. I just let it get the best of me and I realize (thank you) that I can take control of my life.
My lack of self-confidence keeps me from doing things. I just need to try things and believe in myself.
My lack of self-confidence keeps me from doing things and so does my worring.I need to pray more and attend church and try to do better in all parts of my life.ty 4 the great contest!:)