Don’t Make The Same New Year’s Resolution Mistakes I’ve Made!

How is your New Years going so far? Did you make any resolutions for 2009? I have to admit, I’ve never really “believed” in New Years Resolutions but in the last couple of years I have become really excited about making New Year’s Resolutions. So what happened, why am I such a believer in resolutions now?

My previous pessimism about new years resolutions was pretty simple: Why bother? Most resolutions are rarely kept, right? Everywhere I turn, I see good intentions and ideas become shelved as the demands of life take over for yet another year. Ouch! Not very optimistic is it? I don’t have to look far though, because there are 5 reasons why my own goals were always doomed from the beginning:

1. My goals were too BIG! I’ve never had a problem with thinking big but sometimes the goal can be too big, perhaps even idealistic? When a goal is too big it is difficult to achieve it in a realistic period of time. Big goals need to be broken down into smaller goals that can be continuously achieved within the weeks and months. A continuous realization of small goals is the direct way to the achievement of your big goals. I love ideals, possibilities and shooting for the stars, BUT the path getting there has to be laid out in sometimes much less glorifying steps.
2. My goals should have been called “ideas” instead because they were never written down! Statistically, those that write down their goals are the most successful at achieving them. There is no way of getting around this. If you are serious about a goal, write it down or I personally recommend going one step further by creating a dream board. Cut out the pictures that represent your dream and place them in a spot where you will see them everyday! I tell you, since I have started this, nearly every one of my goals have come true.
3. My goals lacked specific details because they were never written down.  If the details were never there, how could I embody the realization of the goal? You have to be able to smell and taste your goal in specific details!
4. I failed to ACT. Volumes can be written about the importance of ACTION, and every procrastinating perfectionist knows that action is the killer or the savior of goals! The secret I have finally learned is that every time I act on an idea or goal, doors are opened that would otherwise remain closed. The world moves for those who are moving!
5. I cared too much about others opinions.  I needed the support of others rather than standing alone and confident with my own goals. Support is valuable but you may not get it in your immediate circle so be resourceful and seek out the support you need to stay on track. This week Tim Ferriss, author of The 4 Hour Work Week had a good blog post this week about “The Things I’ve Learned and Loved in 2008“. I appreciated many of his lessons including one regarding handling people’s opinions:

“It doesn’t matter how many people don’t get it. What matters is how many people do. If you have a strong informed opinion, don’t keep it to yourself. Try and help people and make the world a better place. If you strive to do anything remotely interesting, just expect a small percentage of the population to always find a way to take it personally. F*ck ‘em. There are no statues erected to critics.” T.Ferriss

I think I’ve learned a great deal from my past resolution foibles. I now look forward to setting goals and achieving goals as a regular part of my life. Because we set multiple goals for the year, we don’t make a big point of setting them exactly on the 1st of January. Rather, my husband and I spend a few of our evenings in the beginning of January discussing our years past and what we hope for the following year.

Next, we begin to create uncensored goals lists. We don’t edit ourselves at all. The editing and fine tuning can come later as we determine what is achievable this year, which goals are carried over from last year, and those that have a 2-5 year plan. We create these uncensored lists as a couple and individually.

One of my personal goals this year is to spend more time studying healing by doing in some additional sessions in past life regression. I have already had two sessions and I was simply floored at the wisdom that is accessed at the core Soul level. PLR has put to rest some deep pain that I was carrying with me. For me, it’s not important if the “past life” happened or not. It’s more about communicating with my Self without the usual smoke and mirrors created by personality. (O.k. so now you know a little more about yours truly)

I believe we can’t really move forward unless we understand a little more about “how and why” we make decisions, for better or worse! For example, the realization that I was making goals that were too lofty and “unachievable” because I was a perfectionist who was too afraid of trying and then “failing”. I don’t used these terms and guidelines any longer to measure myself and as a result, I have allowed action without fear to finally be a bigger part of my life.

The next few articles will continue to focus on more ways to nurture your dreams and goals, but in the meantime have a look these articles:

Simple Mom has generated a great list of 20 Questions for a New Years Eve Reflection that can be asked anytime. This is a great way of understanding the “how and why” of our decisions! She then follows with 20 Questions for Planning New Year’s Goals. I have found questions like these really valuable in getting past the “brain block” that can occur with a goal setting sessions.

The Change Blog has a valuable article “The Art of Anticipating Obstacles”. Any seasoned goal setter knows that obstacles do not represent “failure”. Expecting obstacles puts an individual in a solution oriented mindset rather than a problem centered mindset.

The article “Is Your Thinkin Stinkin?” by yours truly, offers some suggestions from personal development master Jim Rohn on getting in the right mindset to achieve your goals and dreams.

How do you feel about resolutions? Can you relate to any of the reasons why I’ve crashed and burned in the past? How do you help yourself achieve your New Year’s Resolutions?

Tagged as: Goal setting, productivity