The majority of health professionals only screen for postpartum depression, which affects nearly 20% of new mothers, but what about other mood disorders that new mothers experience? This article will briefly relay my experience and then highlight some of the other faces of postpartum mood disorders that are less commonly discussed but affect many new mothers. I encourage mothers and fathers to share this information with others so that any mother struggling in silence might find some reassurance from the guide shared below.
Given my history of depression and anxiety we were prepared for the increased chance of postpartum depression. Even though we were prepared, I was sure I would be able to manage it and even possibly avoid the whole ordeal given that I now have many skills to manage the symptoms.
Despite my optimism I conceded early on that I did not feel right, however “postpartum depression” was not the right description of my experience. It was a different feeling. My extended family was also reluctant to label me as having postpartum depression, saying that what I was experiencing was normal. “New motherhood is an emotional ride” they would tell me. I smiled at them. Hardly reassured and feeling even more alone.
But I knew there was something going on. I was experiencing repetitive, irrational and often violent images of harm coming to me or my precious new baby. The images were relentless and I was beginning to be traumatized by these uncensored thoughts and images. Guilt and shame soon followed. How could I imagine these things during this amazing time of joy? I also seemed to get mentally stuck, like a hiccup, repeating the same thought over and over. My eyes would get glued to a spot on the wall, in the corners, or along a crooked line of a picture frame, retracing the line over and over again, imagining it straight but never getting up to fix it.
I rationalized at the time that the terrifying images were my deepest fears coming to surface of not being good enough to be a mother. I wondered if I would fail this great life challenge? I coped the best I could. I practiced awareness. I tried not to react and over analyze. I reminded myself that the thoughts are not who I am.
Postpartum Depression is Only One Symptom
Thankfully, a few months in to this there was light at the end of the tunnel. Of all the brochures and parenting articles that crossed my path in the first few months of motherhood, nothing was as helpful as postpartum mood disorders guide that accompanied a courageous article in Mothering magazine about a woman who experienced victory over postpartum psychosis. (I received a Mothering subscription as a gift and it has been my favorite parenting mag ever since.)
The guide was the first time I had seen a breakdown of the different states of postpartum and it instantly clarified that what I was experiencing was Postpartum Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder (PPOCD).
There are various postpartum mood disorders: Click here for the full postpartum mood disorders guide:
- Baby Blues – 80% of new mothers
- Postpartum Depression – 20% of new mothers
- Postpartum Onset Anxiety/Panic Disorder – 10% of new mothers
- Postpartum Obsessive Compulsive Disorder – 3-5% of new mothers
- Post-traumatic Stress Disorder – 1-3% of new mothers
- Postpartum Psychosis – 0.1-0.2% of new mothers
We hear most often about postpartum depression or the extreme story of psychosis, so many mothers who have varying degrees of symptoms (as described in the guide) that don’t fit the commonly publicized descriptions may feel alone and reluctant to share their experience with others. It was helpful to read the guide, identify the symptoms and then decide where to go from there. Most of all, the guide help me see that other mothers were experiencing similar symptoms. I was not alone. Thankfully, my symptoms faded after a few more months with some loving self care and patience.
A Final Thought About Postpartum Depression
One of the biggest gifts I received while I was pregnant with Liv was from a friend who volunteered that she had postpartum depression. She was convinced that so many of her colleagues also experienced it but found it difficult to discuss. Although I did not know it at the time, she opened the door for me to share my experience later on with other new mothers. By sharing briefly my experience other new moms the door is opened so that if they wish, they can relax, discuss or simply know that they are not alone either.
Mothers experience postpartum mood disorders in a broad variety of ways and early intervention is the best way to help. There is good help available so if you feel bad in any way, so please seek advice or treatment until you get the help you need.
PSI Postpartum Depression Helpline: 800.944.4PPD (4773)
These are my thoughts on living a healthy and simple life. I'm a modern mom with some simple ideas, a little common sense and a natural philosophy. This is the sanest way I know how to navigate the 21 century.
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Monica,
I think it just isn’t as talked about as it should be. More so then it used to be but I’ve had several friends who suffered and silently. I had a the baby blues for a few weeks and that was horrible. Mostly I suffered severe sleep deprivation due to no night time relief for months. The friends that later told me about their experience and the suffering alone, it breaks my heart. They were going through so much with no help. That’s got to stop.
I suffered from pastpartum depression although I was not aware about it at that time. Luckily, I made it through. Then, at a later stage, when I was sitting around chatting with some of my girlfriends, I realized that a lot of them suffered the same too.
Evelyn Lims last blog post..I Dreamed I Was A Butterfly
Thanks so much for sharing your story, and the PSI warmline number. It is very important that women understand are aware of the spectrum of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders that exist. Your post will help women recognize what they’re going through.
Katherine Stones last blog post..Postpartum Depression & Anxiety: The Waiting Is the Hardest Part
Excellent information that shoudl be shared with others. I was lucky and did not suffer from any PP issues but I have many friends who were not as lucky! I always think that if we can be strong enough to share out loud the thoughts and feelings we have that are most distressing someone else will benefits from it. Thanks for being that woman Monica!
Great, informative post. Thanks so much for sharing your story.
I have never had PPD or any form of it, however I do not handle hormonal changes at all very well (thus my pregnancies have always been very challenging at times). The hormonal changes post-partum have made things rocky at times. One thing that can help is using your placenta after birth, either dried and put into capsules or in using in a recipe. It sounds gross, but I did the dried capsule bit this last time and it’s helped so much and many women who have had problems with PPD in it’s various forms have stated how much it’s helped.