Every parent gets overwhelmed at times. Can I manage all this? When do I get time for me?

I have recently been feeling this myself with the anticipation of our baby and the increased demands of caring for a newborn and a two year old. It’s not so much the arrival of a baby that has me overwhelmed, but more that I want to continue to nurture and develop my passions. I want to continue to grow professionally and personally, but know that I will have much less time in a few months to do these things.

All this has me feeling a little overwhelmed. How will I manage the juggling act? Am I expecting too much of myself? What should I let go of and what should I focus on?

While I try to navigate and manage my own expectations, I have been a little melancholic and introspective in the last few days.

These kind of feelings just need to work their course but have you ever felt that you have to “be strong for the kids?”

I still remember an interview that Demi Moore did where she was asked if she had any regrets about how she raised her girls. Do you know what she said?

She said she wished she would have allowed herself to be vulnerable in front of her kids. She said she was always the Mom who said “be strong and we’ll make the best of this.” A muscle through the hard times perspective.

When her girls reached their teen years, she saw that they would have benefited from seeing her feel deeply.  Acknowledging the range of emotions that come up during stressful times so they learn that they are normal a normal part of living and can be healthy when accepted. That interview has stuck with me all these years.

As “parent”, I put on a bright face when I’m feeling down and share my thoughts with my husband in private. These days I’m not sure the “sunny side of the street” is always the best choice for us. I think anyone can agree it’s kind of pointless because your loved ones can always tell when you aren’t feeling right, can’t they?

Children are so perceptive, they deserve honesty. Watered down honesty, but honesty just the same. I also don’t believe in plaguing my children with adult issues either!

So instead of hiding, I have recently began to acknowledge any lingering emotions to Liv.

Because I have generally been more stoic or worked to find a positive way to approach the day, being vulnerable and honest about my feelings to my daughter is very new to me. She is quite young but displays a lot of empathy and curiosity for other children, so I see she is noticing emotions and genuinely upset to see another child hurt or crying.

I’d love to know your thoughts on this:

How does your family handle emotions? What do you say to your kids when it’s just not your day?

When a life event has impacted your family, do you “stay strong” or do you show your “vulnerability?”

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What Do You Say When It’s Just Not Your Day?

Ever thought about Goal Setting for Kids? Goal setting is one of the most important skills that a person can learn, and the earlier this skill is learned, the more chances there are for successful outcomes in a person’s life. Adults know that goal setting is all about planning, making progress with that plan and reaching final goals or achievements. Once a child learns how to do this, they can use this tool for more success in school and at home.

Goal setting for kids will help your children to do well on their school tests and in activities such as sports, music programs or outside academic or arts programs – even at home, and with their personal finances. Teaching your child how to be a goal setter will give them a sense that they are capable of whatever they want to do. That’s valuable!

How to help your child be a goal setting child:

Goal setting for children is basically the same as for adults, with a few caveats. Because they are young, and not as emotionally or cognitively developed, goals should be smaller and more tangible. The idea with goal setting for kids is to get them started in the life-long frame of mind for thinking, planning and taking action to achieve results. The basic premises of goal setting remain the same. You can help your child learn to set goals by working through these steps with him:

Ask, “What do you want to achieve?” – Help your child describe in specific terms something he would like to do that will take some work/planning (getting an A on his next math test, earning money to purchase a certain kind of bicycle).

Ask, “How will you get there?” – Help him plan out the steps to take and the mini-goals to reach on his way to the ultimate goal.

Establish accountability – Have your child write down what he wants to achieve and what his plan for getting there is. He can read it each day to help him with personal accountability, and he can share it with you, or another trusted adult to help him stay motivated, inspired and on-track.

Achieve – Achievement is not only for the final outcome, but also for the small goals that are met along the way.

Review plan/goals/outcomes – Throughout the process and at the end as well, review with your child the plan and how it is going. Do adjustments need to be made? How does he feel about his progress and where it is leading? How was the goal setting experience for him?

If your child does not reach his ultimate goal, talk to him about what he learned on the way. He still has learned valuable lessons about planning and goal setting, and he’s probably learned about himself. Encourage him to not give up on dreams that are important to him, but that if one plan doesn’t work, he has to revise the plan and try again.

Teaching your child to be a goal-setting child is one of the best things you can do.

You will be giving him or her, a valuable gift that they will use for their entire lives, empowering them to achieve wonderful things in every area of life. Goal setting for kids is a skill that will be built on throughout an entire lifetime.

Winsome is author of “Go for Your Goals” for kids – a set of downloadable e-books that guide your child through the joyful steps of learning visualization, goal-setting and the Law of Attraction. Simple language enhanced with beautiful illustrations and worksheets make these books appealing and motivating. To learn more, visit www.4lifehappykids.com

have you done any goal setting with your kids? How do you teach “goals and dreams” in your home?

Hey, come visit the me and leave a comment! I'd love to hear from you. If you enjoyed this article, thank you for giving it a boost on social media. © All rights reserved. This post is from HealthyGreenMoms and cannot be republished without express written permission.

Don’t Forget Goal Setting For Kids!

Winsome Coutts holds a teacher’s certificate in education and has written hundreds of articles on self-development. She has studied with Bob Proctor and John Demartini, popular teachers featured on “The Secret” DVD. She is the passion behind the www.4lifehappykids.com and is a parent and grandparent.

As a grandmother and self-help writer, I’m often asked by readers, “How do you raise happy kids?” This is a question near and dear to every loving parent’s heart. No matter what we teach them, if we haven’t taught them how to be happy, or can’t parent in a way that makes them feel happy, it’s rather all for naught, isn’t it? So it’s a very pertinent question.

I’ve been blessed with having two happy children and two happy grandchildren. I applied certain principles in raising my kids, and see my son and daughter-in-law apply the same in raising their adorable daughters, Klara and Stina. In this article, I’ll share two tips I’ve learned along the way.

1.  The importance of modeling happiness.

You can’t give something you don’t have. How can you teach kids happiness if you don’t have it yourself? Some parents think loving their family means living only for them, driving them everywhere, cleaning up after them, and putting their kids’ needs and desires way ahead of their own. Parenting shouldn’t turn us into a short-order restaurant or a cleaning or taxi service. It does for some parents. That teaches kids a bad lesson.

A child who perceives his parent as a servant, someone whose life has meaning only through catering to his whims, learns to be selfish. He comes to believe others exist to do his bidding. I have a friend who was raised like that, and she tells me when she grew up, she kept having the strange feeling, “Where are all the servants?” Being catered to was such an ingrained part of her childhood that adjusting to adulthood was difficult for her, because “the servants” were missing.

Kids who are raised this way tend to feel the world owes them a living. So breaking out of the “doormat” mode, if you’re in one, is pretty central to giving your kid a chance at a smooth transition to happy adulthood.

When you take care of yourself, make time for yourself, and do things that make you happy, your child learns those behaviors from you. If she sees you going for your dreams and making decisions based on your inner truth, she learns that doing those things is good. On the other hand, if you model dropping everything to fulfill her latest dictate, she learns that parenting means self-denial and victimization. She may then become a self-effacing parent herself or go the other extreme and fore-go parenting entirely because it looks like such a sacrifice.

So to raise happy kids, be good to yourself. Treat yourself with respect and dignity the same as you treat your child. Don’t allow disrespect toward you any more than you’d allow someone to be rude to your kids. Make time for your creative desires and dreams. Plan in some scheduled personal time each week (or day), and make sure that you take it.

Let your kids see you’re doing this, and tell them the reason: “Mommy needs to have some fun, too,” or “Moms need time every day to relax.” This shows your child that you value yourself, and that personal time is important to everyone’s happiness.

2.  The tremendous value of focused attention.

The best form this can take is uninterrupted, one-on-one personal time with your child. Think back to your own childhood and some of your happiest memories. Chances are they include that hike you took with Dad, or the time you and Mom went to the restaurant for a dessert.

When we set aside an hour or two to be with our child, away from distractions and interruptions, we tell him he is important and loved. Giving focused attention is much more powerful than the diffused attention kids get while we cook dinner, drive them somewhere, or break up conversations to take calls on our cell phone.

Children thrive on loving, focused, personal attention the way plants thrive on sunshine. Structure in some focused attention every day, even if it’s only for five or ten minutes. Look at your child when he talks to you, so he knows you’re completely with him. In love, it’s the subtle things that count.

Giving focused attention teaches self-worth: your child knows she’s valuable because you value her, enough to carve out time for you and her, uninterrupted by the world, for those moments. That spells love, and when she knows you love her, by your actions not your words, that brings security and heart fulfillment, essential foundations of happiness.

In this busy world where parents work two jobs and where kids’ social calendars can rival those of Debutantes, it isn’t easy to make time to take care of yourself and uninterrupted time for you and your child. But for happiness, nothing could be more important. Think about your schedule, what is nonessential that you can cut out, or wasted moments that you can eliminate. Use that harvested time to be good to you and your kid. Your child’s happiness, and yours, depend on it.

Learn more about Winsome’s “Go for Your Goals” for kids – a set of downloadable e-books that guide your child through the joyful steps of learning visualization, goal-setting and the Law of Attraction. Simple language enhanced with beautiful illustrations and worksheets make these books appealing and motivating.

Hey, come visit the me and leave a comment! I'd love to hear from you. If you enjoyed this article, thank you for giving it a boost on social media. © All rights reserved. This post is from HealthyGreenMoms and cannot be republished without express written permission.

2 Tips For Raising Happy Kids