Healthy Green Moms » Well Being

Forget Balance. Embrace Harmony!

Monica — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 21:23:10 +0000

These days, it seems everyone is talking about “living a balanced life.” For years I have also repeated this mantra, believing that gaining more life balance is the best way to keep my authentic self from sliding under the carpet of life’s never-ending demands. However, I now question whether the goal of “living a more balanced life” serves my life or is even realistic.

Instead of being more fulfilled, I find myself becoming frustrated by the concept of living a more balanced life. When I approach life using the “balance” mantra, I find there is always an area in my life that receives little attention and so I wonder, why does “living a balanced life” continue to elude me?

What Does Balance Mean To You?

Balance does not mean the same thing for all people. I have always defined balance as being able to regularly give attention to my life’s priorities. Basically, to give balanced attention. To be able to disperse my energy (somewhat evenly) with the intention that I do not deplete areas in my life that are important to me. The areas in my life that I focus on include Spiritual, Physical, Financial, Relational and Mental.

Is this similar to your concept of a balanced life? Different?

I can’t say whether the concept of balance is flawed for everyone, but I do know that “seeking a balanced life” no longer works for me.

They may only be words but words are a powerful force in your life.

Why are so many people “seeking a more balanced life?” Balance implies equilibrium or stability produced by an even distribution of weight. I don’t believe life evenly distributes it’s weight. Is life by nature in a state of equilibrium?

Balance is also used to describe someones emotional or mental state (as being calm.) Having a calm disposition amidst a dynamic and inspired life make more sense to me. Perhaps it is a calm disposition people are actually seeking, instead of a balanced life?

So Is The Concept of Living a Balanced Life Bogus?

This week we saw James Arthur Ray live in Vancouver. It was one year ago that James Ray that first introduced the idea to me that “Balance is Bogus.” He sees the quest for balance as an illusion, an impossible dream. And I have to admit, when I first heard his idea of balance is bogus, it came as a relief to me!

Whether you think balance is bogus or not depends on who you are. Perhaps you already feel you “live a life of balance?”

But seeking a balanced life is not the right answer for all of us. Is it possible that you have grabbed the “living a more balanced life” mantra when another perspective may be more helpful to you?

I think the quest for balance depends on what you want out of your life at any given time. If you are trying to achieve balance while looking for a breakthrough in some area of your life, it’s no wonder balance can feel like an impossible dream!

In his book Harmonic Wealth, James Ray suggests that instead of balance, you should be seeking Harmony:

Think of a scale. In perfect balance, nothing is happening. There’s no dynamism, no life or vibrancy. Now think of a jazz band in action – the life and action are palpable, aren’t they? The performers in this band have less to do with melody and more to do with improvising. They give life to the nuance and the music takes shape in the moment. That’s harmony. The different parts aren’t balanced-sometimes the saxophone leads. Sometimes it’s the bass, or the drum or lead guitar. Whatever instrument is out in front in the moment, they’re all contributing, all creating that amazing thing called music.

I want you to think of your life this way. When you are in harmony, some days your parenting skills will lead. Other times it’ll be your job or your school. On certain occasions your marriage will take center stage. Some days you’re going to be running on two hours sleep, having worn the same clothes three days in a row. It may not be pretty, but that may just be just what it takes to finish the business plan that lands you the big dollars and the nourishing rest and relaxation that follows.

Perfect balance is death of mind and death of spirit.

Maybe it’s time to re-examine this popular mantra. Seeking balance among a dynamic life seems to go against it’s natural and constantly changing flow.

“But I’ve Achieved Balance With a Schedule!”

Many people claim that creating a more balanced life is made possible by using a schedule.

I have found that using a schedule to help me create more balance only leaves me feeling depleted in all areas! (by scheduling the key areas: Spiritual, Physical, Financial, Relational and Mental)

As I see it, the problem with using a schedule to help create a balanced life is that the schedule ends up dispersing my attention and energy over too many areas. When energy is dispersed over too many areas, breakthroughs and growth become more difficult.

I now use schedules as a management tool to prevent me from losing track of the necessary aspects of my life, but not to help me create a more balanced life.

Personal Growth and Transformation Require Energy!

Most everyone in the personal transformation industry will agree that in order to grow and achieve major breakthroughs in any area of your life, sustained and focused energy is required.

If I look back on our lives over the last few years I would say that our lives have not been very balanced. At the same time, we have grown immensely in a few key areas of our life.

My husband has become very successful in his industry. Looking back on his growth an an entrepreneur, it’s not balance that made him successful! A lot of hard work, personal changes, risk and sacrifice, late nights of creativity, work weekends etc were all required of him. But the high demands in his business are not present ALL the time. The demands come in waves. Much like a creative and dynamic life in motion.

Many powerful and influential men and women that we have met in the last 2-3 years are not living a balanced life either! Are they happy and fulfilled? I would say that on the whole, they seem to the most fulfilled and purpose driven group I have ever met.

Why?

They are not reigned in by the concept of “living a balanced life.” Instead, they approach their life like an jazz musician. They focus on a key area in their life with sustained energy and attention while the other keys also contribute to the harmony. When the harmony shifts and another key takes center stage, they flow with the harmony and give the key the attention it deserves.

You may not always be able to see the harmony in the moment, but I believe harmony is a much more realistic way to approach my life. How about you?

Would viewing your life as a “harmony” rather than seeking to “live a more balanced life” be a helpful change in perspective for you?

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Forget Balance. Embrace Harmony!

Are YOU On Your List?

Monica — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 22:07:16 +0000

When you love yourself enough, you’ll make time for yourself. When you love yourself enough, you’ll give yourself what you need to be truly healthy.

Oprah has said during her Best Life Series that her latest struggles with her weight have a lot to do with being overwhelmed by her life. The pace of her life was such that it was easiest to take herself off her priority list and soon after, her health and weight began to suffer.

How easy is it to appreciate where she is coming from?

How many times have you as a parent, taken yourself off your own priority list?

Oprah then went on to say that she is continually having to renew her commitment to herself and that self love and appreciation are a life long journey.

Oprah has also chosen the word JOY to be a center point for this year. Her coach Bob Green says he feels that she may have never learned how to experience JOY in her life.

Wow, don’t you see this as such a common theme in our society?

The state of constantly living in “survival mode” that zaps the JOY out of all the extraordinary moments of our days.

“Survival mode” is likely learned in childhood, for those who may have had to grow up too quickly, suffered a childhood trauma, seeing your parents struggle, or taught to focus on accomplishments over self fulfillment. Nowadays, the economy, war and other concerns will also put many parents in “survival mode”.

Regardless, over time JOY diminishes as stress lingers and becomes a habit right down to our cellular structure!

I heard recently that there are 3 different ways of living. These 3 ways can indicate your commitment to what you are about:

Tasks – I see this as doing “the daily grind”- the things that need to be done, all the little things that take over your life. Task oriented living leaves little time for the exploration of Self.
Goals – I see this as the place where intention and living join together through making action based decisions to begin co-creating the life you want.
Higher Purpose – The place where you make all of your decisions from. The commitment and focal point of your life to live according to God or your Spirit’s desires. A place of surrendering and stepping out of your own way.

It got me thinking whether or not my goals for 2009 really reflect a commitment to living out my highest purpose and in what ways I can renew my commitment living out my highest purpose?

In my recent post “Dont Make The Same New Year’s Resolution Mistakes I’ve Made, some interesting comments from readers stayed with me:

Evelyn commented “I’ve found it hard to keep to my New Year Resolutions too in the past but am now deciding to make them differently. I choose to make mine actionable and to also embody a more spiritual element for year 2009.”

Lance also commented “What I’m doing this year is that I’m going to choose one word, which I will use as a focal point in my life throughout the year. I want this word to really become part of my being.”

Both of these comments reflect a commitment to Self. They have placed themselves on their priority list by focusing on the things in life that will truly bear fruit.

So my friends, are you in survival mode? How do you see your year unfolding and as you create your lists and goals, have you taken the time to put yourself on your own priority list?

37 Ways To Increase Your Energy (Without Breaking A Sweat)

Monica — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 16:00:16 +0000

Take a look at the supplements aisle in any drugstore and you’ll find a myriad of products designed to increase your energy levels. It’s easy to opt for cup after cup of java only to crash hours later; overworked, overstressed and left with little to give. Finding your optimal energy while caring for young children can also seem elusive after many late nights tending to colds, teething, feeding and restless toddlers.

Finding time to relax, much less learning how to increase energy levels may sound unrealistic for busy moms however some of the best energy boosts are little enjoyable activities that help to ease stress and refresh your spirit.

To be sure, there is no single best way to achieve your optimal energy zone, although optimal energy resides somewhere in between giving attention to the spiritual, mental, emotional, physical and relational aspects of ourselves in a non aggressive, obsessive, or overly indulgent way.

Aside from the benefits of regular exercise, here are some ideas on how you can increase your energy levels by choosing simple and out of the ordinary ways to approach your health.

Read an inspiring book
Turn off the TV
Blast your favorite music
Take stock of what’s right with your life
Help someone in need
Meditate, even 5 minutes per day to breathe deeply and Be is great!
Start each day with warm water and a squeeze of lemon
Snack on raw fruit and vegetables
Take a walk around the block
Have a pillow fight with your children
Go for a drive with the windows down
Do some gardening
Roll in the leaves
Fire up the blender and make a fruit smoothie
Meet a funny friend for lunch
Get with nature. Where is your special place to be?
Break the monotony and mix up your daily routine
Lighten the load and purge your stuff
Cut the sugar from your diet
Don’t sleep in, set your alarm instead
Ditch the coffee for green tea
Take a warm bath with citrus essential oils
Create a dream board
Learn how to breathe deeply each day
Eat like a baby, little but often
Don’t eat within 3 hours of bedtime
Sigh up for that class you’ve always wanted to take
Drink more water and less booze
Get in the game! Create a list of realistic personal goals
Have a fresh juiced carrot, apple, celery, ginger drink. Wowzers!
Make a list of fears, and then overcome them one by one
Test drive your dream car (and then put it on your dream board!)
Say NO more often! It’s OK to lighten your load. Really!
Take up Hatha Yoga
Pay someone a sincere compliment
Spend time with people who love you dearly
Exercise your funny bone and laugh at yourself

This list is only the beginning. What do you do to boost your energy, reduce your stress and feel great?

3 Ways To Ditch Negative Self Talk

Monica — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 16:00:42 +0000

Are your predominant thoughts focused on the love and gratitude you have for your inner gifts, or are you more focused on your perceived limitations? Either way, your predominant thoughts will decide the course of your life.

Last week I wrote about Stinkin Thinkin and how your personal philosophy determines the outcome of your life regardless of how aware you are of your deep seated beliefs. Unfortunately, it’s all too common to give your limiting beliefs too much weight. When you are immersed in the power and intensity of fear or self doubt, it is easy to feel isolated. Often we forget that despite appearances of confidence, self doubt can often be just as powerful in the woman beside us.

In addition to any limiting beliefs you have about yourself, many of us also field an onslaught of negative self talk on a daily basis. When self doubt and fear seems to be such a powerful force in your life, how do you begin to overcome the negative self talk and move ahead with more confidence?

3 Simple Ways To Overcome Negative Self Talk

1. Awareness

Awareness is the realization that the negative self talk exists. Awareness is like a muscle. At first you may not be aware of our underlying thoughts. Awareness may begin as a hindsight realization that you habitually reacted in a certain way. Over time, by continually watching your reactions and thoughts, you begin to see yourself habitually thinking, talking and acting in a certain way as they happen. The key with growing awareness is that you do not react to what you are witnessing in yourself. Be an observer but not a participant in the drama.

For example, when I started this blog, I would get really excited about something I wanted to share and the immediate negative self talk would be “what you have to say is not important” and “no one cares what you have to say”. Because I am aware that this pattern of outdated self talk exists, I can hear those thoughts arising and then I can allow them to pass (more often) without taking the bait and buying into the message. If I were to buy into the message and feel badly about my abilities, I would be reacting. Stated another way, the passing thought of self doubt may exist in the moment, however it does not inhibit you from moving towards your goals.

“Fear is only as deep as the mind allows” Japanese Proverb

2. Acceptance

In order for you to move past limiting self talk you have to accept that it is happening and influencing your life. The negative self talk will lose it’s grip the moment you decide to love and accept this unresolved aspect of yourself. When you are constantly reacting and judging yourself for your perceived weaknesses it creates a strangle hold over your life that leaves little room for growth.

You are a work in progress and the challenges that you face as you learn to love and accept all aspects yourself will add to the texture and richness of your life so that you can then love and accept these aspects in others. Love and acceptance of yourself regardless of the situation creates the space for you to grow and overcome.

“The person who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones” Anonymous

3. Action

Negative self talk can become so habitual and so powerful that it literally keeps you from pursuing many of your dreams. We are our own worst enemies! There are times however, that the light of inspiration will erode the negative talk for a short time and it is so important to ACT on this inspiration. A baby step at first perhaps, or diving in with both feet. Over time, taking action during times of inspired thinking will slowly erode the power of the negative talk. This is because with each action you take, you develop more and more confidence.

The key is to ACT in spite of the limiting beliefs you face in your life. First become aware, then accept, and most importantly act anyway.

I hope these 3 suggestions will help you to become more aware of negative self talk and give you the tools to move forward towards your goals and dreams anyway. We all have negative self talk, but it does not have to dictate the course of our lives.

Are you aware of how your self talk influences the decisions you make? What are your ways of dealing with negative self talk? Let’s talk more in the comments below.

Is Your Thinkin Stinkin?

Monica — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 22:05:49 +0000

How do you approach life? Do you see possibilities and opportunities at every corner? Are you a YES person who finds the “how to” later? Do you encourage others when they come to you with their crazy ideas? Do circumstances rule your life or do you find a way, regardless?

When you are gearing up for change in your life, it is so important to continually put yourself in front of inspiration. However, there is also a dominant ruling force in most of our lives that many times renders inspiration to be fleeting at best. This ruling force is your thoughts.

Your thoughts are the daily force that cause the creative power to act within your life, for better or for worse. Repetitive thoughts do become things, so if you want to move forward in your life, looking at your perspective can be very helpful to see if your thoughts are in alignment with the vision that you have for your life.

I wrote recently about overcoming some personal obstacles to find peace in my life. Looking back on the person I am today compared to who I was a few years ago I would say one of the most obvious differences is in the way that I think. I used to be as pessimistic and skeptical as they come. I even rationalized my perspective as a good character quality because at least “someone should be realistic.”

What I did not realize is that my doubt and skepticism was affecting every area of my life because I easily saw the problems in every opportunity that came to me. Because I saw problems instead of solutions, I usually was able to convince myself that each opportunity was not the “right” opportunity. This doubting, raised eyebrow view of life permeated into every area of my life until I finally woke up to the fact that I had a big old case of stinkin’ thinkin’ and it was time to overhaul my personal philosophy!

“You can have more than you’ve got because you can become more than you are” Jim Rohn

One of the people that has influenced me a great deal is an extraordinary human being named Jim Rohn. If you don’t know him already, I highly recommend his free weekly newsletter! His timeless philosophy gently shattered my self important opinions about the world in such a unique way that left me unable to defend and forced me to change.

In his book “The Five Major Pieces to the Life Puzzle” he outlines the five principles for attaining whatever you want to have and becoming whatever you wish to be. These are the fundamentals of success that are unchanging throughout the history of human achievement: Philosophy, Attitude, Activity, Results and Lifestyle. The book is $12 and worth every single penny.

Jim Rohn describes our personal philosophy this way: “In the process of living, the winds of circumstance blow on us all in an unending flow that touches each of our lives. What guides us to different destinations in life is determined by the set of our sail. The way each of us thinks makes the major difference in where each of us arrives.”

He goes on to say that your life is a direct product of the way you choose to think. The way you think then directs your behavior and habits. Your philosophy is formed through your experience of events and the multitude of sources in your lives. In a way, your philosophy is not really your philosophy, it has been given to you, by your friends, family, environment, history, teachers, media etc.

The question you must ask is: Has your current philosophy given you the life that you desire? If not, then it is time to choose your own philosophy.

Many falsely believe that finances, upbringing & past, lack of time, circumstances, family etc hold us back from achieving the life of our dreams.

In order to get to the root of your philosophy about success, ask yourself questions like:

What is my relationship with money?
How do I regard successful people?
Do I feel that I deserve a good life?
What am I afraid to lose if I go for my dreams?
What am I willing to risk to accomplish my dreams?

I soon realized that I had accepted the philosophy that: successful people were untrustworthy, that money was the root of evil and that if I was a successful woman I would have to give up any semblance of a family life. I believed that much of success required luck or that I had to know someone important to have a chance at big opportunities. As I write these limitations in my thinking I realize today how silly these sound. But the clincher is that I didn’t know that I thought this way until I dug deeper! It was all below the surface. If you asked then about this, I would have disagreed with all those statements!

Until we ask these questions and take the time to think them out our habitual thinking and conditioning will be the dominant predictor in the outcome of our life.

Our personal philosophy, known or unknown, will decide the course of our lives. Once I accepted that I had some pretty substantial and limited beliefs, it was a truly liberating experience to replace them with a new philosophy.

Here is a look at how to build a new & powerful personal Philosophy – one of the five fundamentals listed in the book.

Building a powerful personal philosophy.

1. Don’t erase…replace! Begin to seek out the new information that your success and happiness requires. To change our thinking habits we need to input new information. Begin to learn from the people you admire and you will be introduced to a new language and way of thinking. You will soon have the resources to make different conclusions based upon a more successful perspective.

“The decisions we are making are not wrong based on the information we have, it is the information we have that is causing us to make wrong decisions” Jim Rohn

2. Learn from your past experiences. Make a review of your actions and the lessons learned. Make sure you have a truthful account of the event so that you don’t continue to escape from reality. You can learn from both failure and success and adjust your course for the future.

“Failure must teach us, or surely success will not reward us” Jim Rohn

3. Learn from an outside voice. Get an objective appraisal of your growth from someone you respect who will be able to examine our actions and determine if you have stayed on course with the fundamentals of success. The objective is to be able to see things you otherwise would not be able to see.

“We are wise, indeed, if we discipline ourselves to take council from someone who cares, lest life and circumstances force us to take it from someone who does not care” Jim Rohn

4. Learn from other people’s experience with failure. You also want to study failure so you can learn what not to do. I found this funny when I first read it, but then I wondered, when have I ever made a study of failure? Do you know what to avoid based on the evidence or do you simply follow along? The majority is not right the majority of the time!

“If we had more opportunity to learn from the negative experiences of others, we might well save our own lives from certain disaster” Jim Rohn

5. Learn from other people’s success. Spend time gathering the knowledge and ideas that success requires. The habits, the disciplines, the language, the thinking. A great place to start is by reading a daily quote from the great minds of past and present. Choose a few mentors to learn from. Jim Rohn is a great place to start!

6. The power of positive influence. We are all within the sphere of influence. Who you are today is a collage of the many people that have influenced you over the years. Choose to avoid at all costs the power of the wrong influence weaving it’s effect on you. Look for people you can admire and respect, even if they are not in your direct circle of influence.

“In this lifetime there is no greater project than the deliberate development of our own lives” Jim Rohn

I hope you enjoyed some of these ideas. There are still more suggestions to overhaul your philosophy in the book and then 4 more principles for becoming the best you can be in order to attract the best life that has to offer. Free yourself from “stinkin thinkin” and reward yourself with a treasure for your mind with this book. You will love his simple timeless philosophy!

WIN IT: I’m giving away a copy of “The Five Major Pieces to the Life Puzzle” to a random winner. All you have to do to be entered is leave me a comment and tell me about one limiting belief that you have that holds you back from living your best life AND THEN, most important, tell me one way you can overcome it. Contest open to Canadian and USA residents. Winner announced here on August 1st and contacted by email. View official rules here

WINNER: Congratulations to Lori (comment#19) you have won this giveaway and I am so excited to send this book to you since it seems you are quite a reader! I’ve contacted you by email.

5 Tips For Living An Inspired Life

Monica — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 17:26:03 +0000

“Joy is the feeling of grinning inside” Melba Colgrove

Have you ever felt as though life was happening to you? Would you like to spend more time doing the things you love? Maybe you wish you were earning a living while fulfilling your purpose at the same time?

For years, I have searched for the inspirational blue print that would give me the answer about my unique gifts. I recognized early on that regular jobs were not satisfying. I knew that spending a lifetime working jobs I did not love would be creative suicide however I had very little inspiration and therefore no idea which direction to take.

“You grow the most on the border of chaos and order” James Ray

Building a purpose fulled & inspired life can be one of the most exciting and most challenging times of your life. Many people conveniently cover up their “impractical” talents and dreams with more acceptable means to live and work. When you continue to deny, or outright refuse to listen to the messages from your inner self, it is only a matter of time before you are forced to take a look at the direction of your life. A blessing? If you begin to listen to your heart, then YES!

Here are a few common ways in which people diminish their passion:

Dreaming is impractical. Sometimes the heart can be extremely impractical and this keeps you from validating your dreams out loud. You may seek approval and of you were to realize your dreams, you may be forced to explain yourself to your family and friends who then question your decisions. Although family and friends mean well, I have learned that the most important person to listen to is your own hearts guidance.
Missing the cues. Sometimes you fail to recognize the little things that make your hearts soar because you are waiting for the big fireworks to go off with neon arrows pointing the way to your future!
The money factor. You also may ignore pursuing your dreams because you think that the dream will not be able to pay the bills. You have not learned yet that passion infused with action yields much bigger rewards than simply money, although money will also follow! BE BOLD! If you are doing what you love, you are magnetic and others will be inspired by you.
Fear of change. Living your dream and discovering your gifts usually results in a life change. You don’t like change and the imagined risk of not knowing what lies in store for you. This is common and makes most of us uncomfortable. The problem is that you don’t know yet that the greatest rewards come from following your passion and faith is required to leap ahead. Act in spite of your fear.

“Stop thinking in terms of limitations and start thinking in terms of possibilities” T. Josephson

Ask yourself regularly: What unique gifts can I bring to the world and how can I use them to help others? Continually asking questions like these are most important for all of us who desire to live an authentic life. Questions like these will help you discover how you can honor the truest parts of yourself and in turn, make a difference in the lives of those you love and in the world.

Here are some tips for getting in touch with your inner inspiration:

Allow yourself the possibility. Sometimes the hardest part is the beginning. Ask yourself these questions: If I could buy only 3 magazines, what would they be? What do I think about most? When I talk to others, what gets my heart racing and talking quickly? What do you enjoy doing, yet have never asked for money? Some of the best advice I ever received was to follow my interests without attachment to money or success. As Joseph Campbell was often quoted as saying “follow your bliss”.
Take Time. Often when we are in the daily grind we lose perspective of the possibilities life has to offer us. Creativity requires room to breathe and taking a break, either for an hour a day or for the weekend to read, imagine and be with yourself can be the best medicine for “possibility block”.
Get out of the way. Do you believe that you are the answer to your dreams? Do you know that the answers are within you? Trust that your soul knows your true happiness. Whenever you feel weighed with indecision, look inside and trust that the answers are in your heart and keep trusting until the answers begin to reveal themselves (or hit you over the head!)
The why becomes the how. When you have a dream (the why), you can always figure out the “how”. When the dream is in place there is no such thing as obstacles, only problems to be solved. Do you allow yourself to dream even though you do not know the “how” to make it happen?
Let go. Letting go is the understanding that you have set into motion your desires. It is already in process and therefore requires no extra force or manipulation. It is also knowing that obstacles also have their place in life and present opportunities that you may not understand at the time.

Each one of us has something unique and special to share with the world. By allowing yourself to be inspired to share your gifts and passions with others you will encourage more to do the same. Creativity replaces boredom, intuition replaces doubt, and passion and joy become an endless supply of energy for yourself and others.

“Dreams come true; without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them” John Updike

What keeps you from doing more of what you love? If you are already doing what you love, please share your thoughts with us!